Let’s Talk Pleasure: World Sexual Health Day 2022
We heard recently on the radio that many women in menopause report ‘Duty Sex’, a sort of grin-and-bear-it experience that isn’t focused on pleasure, but of fulfilling their partners needs and not their own. So ‘Let’s Talk Pleasure’, this year’s World Sexual Health Day theme, couldn’t have come at a better time. The idea is to reframe sexual health, education, and sex itself as something centred around pleasure, with the aim of improving sexual health for all. But it’s not just about pleasure- it’s about whole sexual wellbeing, that includes mental and emotional health too.
Staying positive
Sex-positivity is a really key part of this, and something we try to highlight is that everyone does it- and that’s OK! Menopausal women do have and want sex! Menopause and ageing doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life. And that means sex that is focused on mutual pleasure- no more ‘grin-and-bear-it’ duty sex, and no longer tolerating painful sex. Good sex is hugely beneficial to our health, releasing endorphins, oxytocin, improving our immune system and much more. Put plainly, good sex=better mental and physical health for everyone.
But let’s face it, menopausal symptoms can leave you feeling anything but sexy. As the skin in and around your vagina becomes thinner and more fragile due to the loss of oestrogen, sex can become painful, making you less likely to want to have sex. Skin changes can also happen to the vulva too, for example the clitoris and labia. Not to mention hormonal fluctuations messing with your libido. So how do you get the sex life you deserve when you’re navigating this difficult time?
3 Step Plan for Pleasure in Menopause
- Acknowledge your own sexuality, and recognise that everyone is a sexual being, regardless of age! This opens you up to allowing pleasure to lead the way, not duty. Then you can start really understanding what you want out of your sex life.
- Talk about it. We know, we know, this one always crops up. But it DOES help. Be open with your partner (and yourself!) about your likes and dislikes, talk about the things that turn you on. But also talk about any symptoms you have that may be interfering with your sex drive or desire, for example vaginal dryness, fatigue or fluctuating hormones. Chances are they want to support you- that’s what a good partner does.
- Tackle those symptoms! Help is out there. Whether it’s HRT, pessaries, diet or a simple hormone-free lubricant like Sylk, there are ways to ease the symptoms that are impacting your pleasure. In fact, using lubricants can enhance pleasurable sensations, so it’s win-win! Some find HRT can be a big help in relieving some symptoms, so talk to your doctor to see if it’s right for you.
Sexual pleasure is traditionally something a bit hidden, secret. But it’s impossible to improve sexual wellbeing without talking about it. By reframing sex as centred around pleasure, we are empowering women to talk openly about their sex lives and their health, and acknowledge that they are complete, autonomous beings with specific needs and desires.
If you’re struggling with vaginal dryness, or just want to step up your sex life, get your Sylk now.
Looking to spice things up in the bedroom? Or maybe you’re ready to discover your real sexual self? Check out our friends at Sh! Store, an erotic emporium focused on female pleasure, and the UK’s first ever female friendly sex shop. Everything you need to discover your true sexual self, from sex toys to online courses. Find out more now.
