What’s happening to me? The Symptoms of Perimenopause

By Nicky, Director at Sylk and Certified Menopause Coach

Most Saturday mornings start the same way for me. I head out for a run with a group of close friends I’ve known for the best part of a decade, and as our feet hit the pavement, we do what women do best. We talk.

We offload about work. We swap stories about our children, many of whom are hovering on the edge of becoming young adults and flying the nest. Chat about university, painful driving lessons and 18th birthday party ideas now replace stories of nightly homework battles, door slamming tantrums and playdate dramas.  We now laugh about having to wait up for the kids to get home from a night out; we worry about ageing parents, reminisce about past nights out, and plan future ones. You know, the usual midlife mum stuff.

Because we’ve known each other for years, nothing is off limits. My friends know I run Sylk, a lubricant used by menopausal women, so conversations easily drift into more intimate territory:

“I want to feel like me again”

Over the years I have been able to reassure many of my friends that what they were experiencing was likely due to hormone fluctuations and there were lots of ways to manage these symptoms. Many have said that just knowing it was ‘very normal’ and they would feel ‘like me again’, was a gift in itself and one friend has said that, “I was on the verge of leaving my job before speaking to you”.

Helping them navigate their menopause journey by providing information about HRT and encouraging them to make small ‘hormone friendly’ changes to their lifestyle has provided the groundwork for a more positive midlife for them and the reason I qualified as a Menopause Coach.

"I can't be going through the menopause, can I? I'm only in my 40s!"

Meno Noise

Whilst there is so much more awareness around perimenopause today there is also even more confusion around how best to manage it.  Influencer Health Professionals provide conflicting opinions, celebrities often promote unsubstantiated misleading advice, and there is a ‘menopause’ product for everything from scent to knickers.  The menopause market is estimated to be worth $600 billion.  It is just bonkers! A skeptical person might well ask questions about it.

Last weekend, one of my friends’ stopped mid-run and said, “I haven’t had a period for a while,  so perhaps I’m out the other side……..but I’ve decided to go on HRT, though I feel ok,  otherwise I’m worried I’m going to get dementia”.

Another added, “You should get testosterone too as that’s what everyone is on these days….all the celebs swear by it”.

That moment stuck with me.

My friends are all intelligent, well informed women who enjoy relatively healthy lifestyles,  so I was surprised they were so keen to get treatments without exploring the evidence or whether they actually needed them.

That’s why menopause events like the, “Sylk Managing Menopause, Midlife & Beyond” are so important. The evening was designed for women approaching menopause or already deep in perimenopause, and it covered everything. Hormones, night sweats, vaginal dryness, low libido, mood changes. Nothing was brushed aside or made awkward.  Our Experts included Menopause Nurse Specialist, Kathy Abernethy, Award-Winning Nutritionist, Jackie Lynch and Pelvic Health Expert, Christine Bird.

What I learned most clearly is this:

We shouldn’t fear menopause, it can actually be a really positive experience that transforms our midlife journey, in the words of Menopause Expert, Kathy Abernethy

“Menopause is a hump in the road that can be bumpy but you will come out the other side”.

Kathy advised that there are lots of ways to manage symptoms, and support is available through GPs and menopause clinics. To get the most out of your appointment, Kathy advised the following:

• Asking for the GP with an interest in women’s health or menopause.
• Ask for a referral to a specialist menopause clinic if you are not getting the support you need.
• Keep a symptom journal and use that to inform your discussions with your GP
• Take someone with you (particularly helpful if you are struggling with brain fog or forgetfulness)

You don’t have to wait for your periods to stop

Kathy reinforced the point that you don’t have to wait until your periods stop before asking for help. If symptoms are affecting your daily life, HRT may be an option even while you’re still menstruating, although it won’t be right for everyone. In many cases, changes to diet and lifestyle can make a real difference. Regular exercise. Better sleep. Cutting back on caffeine and alcohol. Eating well and supporting your body with the right nutrients.

Educating the next generation

This matters not just for us, but for our daughters too.

I’ve had lots of conversations with my daughter about the role hormones play particularly at key life stages like puberty, pregnancy and menopause.

I hope she grows up informed, unafraid, and able to recognise when something feels off. She's actually written her own article in our blog: "What every young person should know about the menopause", which examines the effects our hormones have, well worth sharing with daughters everywhere!

Also, as Jackie Lynch explained at the conference, nutrition plays a huge role in hormonal balance. Simple things help, and taking care of nutrition can start at any age. Including protein with every meal is vital. Eating plenty of green leafy vegetables, foods rich in magnesium, and nourishing your body properly.